The New Reaver!
by NefertiDagger
Summary: Pointless fic where Lara becomes the new Soul Reaver. Lara/Raz shipping and Kain drunk. Oh my!


  
The New Reaver!  
  
Written by NefertiDagger  
  
A/N- YAY! Lara/Raz shipping! Or.. ReaverRaidershipping!!! Anyway, this is a silly Game Crossover where Lara and Raz get their weapons mixed up while Lara does some sneaking as her new profession as an art theif! Well, I'll let he lrest go from here and the games are- Fighting Force and Fear Effect (Hana is a lesiban and it CAN pass).   
====  
  
**_Chapter One- Sneaky Sneaky!_**  
  
Our Story Begins where Lara croft, who had just swiched professions, was.... sneaking around the local European Art Museum (So sue me, I've never been to Europe)  
  
"No duh!"  
  
Shaddup Hana and get back to where you belong and start making out with Rain. ANYWAY...... Lara was poking around the section on Ancient Mythology and such. She looked at a weapon that was very shiny.  
  
"Ooohh... shiny... WAIT! WAIT!!!!!!!! I'm not supposed ot be a 3 year old!"   
  
Oh chill girl. Just look at the weapon and make a cliched statment!  
  
"Whatever.... Ahem... Oh goodness... this weapon is very shiny... it's glowing... I wonder why..."  
  
That's better. She looked at it in a glass case, and when she picked it up, out came...  
  
"Where's Davish?"  
  
"Veemon, get back to your sh*t quality show." Lara said, obviously angry. Veemon left the Museum and Lara pulled out a cigar, since she was obviously under duress caused by the author.   
  
"I guess it's about time I pull that weapon out."  
  
And so she did, not triggering any alarms and such. And when she held in in her hands, a voice boomed out from aboove, or below...  
  
"You are the New Soul Reaver Miss Croft... it is your destiny!"  
  
"HEY! It's the dude that does the voice of Megabyte on ReBoot!"  
  
"Oh shut up, I only sound like him. Anyways, you are the new Soul Reaver, since the other one got too drunk during a beer contest with his father.... his father, Lord Kain, won, and got a life-time supply of beer... I think it was Budweiser." The Elder God said, dozing off. Lara, looked angry.  
  
"What if I don't want the damn job?"  
  
"You'l like it you b*tch. It is your destiny!"  
  
"Can i meet this drunk Former Soul Reaver?"  
  
"Sure, just take a left and enter the portal in the Modern Art seciton, can't miss it."  
  
"Thanks!"  
==========  
_  
Chapter two- Hi, I'm Raziel and I'm a Drunk._  
  
Lara was now in Nosgoth, thanks to some time saving tips provided by me.  
  
"Oh shut up. Now then, where is this drunk Soul Reaver? And why is this thing on my hand?"  
  
She walked in the slums of the Human Citidel and saw a creepy looking thing lying in the sreets begging for beer money.  
  
"Spare an ex-Soul Reaver change?"  
  
"Excuse me, are you the drunken Ex-Soul Reaver the guy who sounds like Megabyte From Reboot who calls himself the Elder God was telling me about?"  
  
"Yesh.... OH WOW!!!!!!!! You are the new Soul Reaver! I'm Raziel.... you are?"  
  
Lara shrugged her shoulders and handed Raziel a shotgun.  
  
"Lara Croft, but you can call me Lara. So, why are not the Soul Reaver anymore?"  
  
Raziel sighed and started to cry.  
  
"My dad beat me in a beer shugging contest......"  
  
"Awww.. poor fella.... you can have the weapon back."  
  
"No... I have beat Lord Kain in a beer drinking match to become it again... and can you swallow souls?" Raziel asked, eyeing the weapon around Lara's left arm.  
  
"No. I suppose we could get you to be the drinking winner."  
  
"Really? You're a kind woman."  
  
"You're a cute vampire."  
  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Moving on!'  
=========  
  
Chapter Three- Kain, Lara and Raziel- AKA Two Guys a Girl and a Beer Contest.  
  
"Hehehe..... I love Budweiser........" Kain said, drinking his 122222222222th bottle of beer. He chugged it one right after another. Ariel, Hana, Rain and Mace were all his beer servers.  
  
"I'm sick of this beer." Ariel whined.  
  
"Shaddup you b*tch and serve me my beer! 'm the lord and whatever I say goes okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
Suddenly, Lara and Raziel appeared in the Door Way.  
  
"Kain! As the new Soul Reaver, I demand you challenge Raziel to a beer driking match or I'll pants you!" Lara yelled. Raziel nodded and pulled out his nifty beer hat.  
  
"Oh! Back for more eh? Well then, let's drink!"  
  
Kain and Raziel started to drink madly. It was like there was no end!  
  
"Oh shaddup."  
  
Whatever Lara. Anyways, the contest was over and...  
  
"I won! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Raziel cheered.  
  
"NO!!!!!!!! You shall never get away with this you little freak! I'l get you, and your chesty girlfriend too!"  
  
Kain left with his chain of hoes behind him and Lara and Raziel shared a romantic moment.  
  
"Oh Lara... I love you........"  
  
"Oh Raziel.... I love you........."  
  
The two kissed and then.... Ariel came in and said-  
  
"SHAZAM!!!!!!!!!"   
  
Raziel was back to a nice looking pre-fallen Vampire. Lara and Raziel hugged, and Ariel looked happy.  
  
"My work here is done."  
==========  
  
Chapter 4- Marriage!!!!!  
  
"Do you take this Vampire to be your husband?" Ariel asked Lara.  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Raziel?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"You're now Husband and Wife. Feel free to kiss the bride."  
  
"Make sweet love to me!" Raziel said, and Lara and he went down ont he floor and..........  
  
-Seven Years Later-  
  
"Mom!!!!!!!!! Daddy's sucking Winston again!" A Little girl whined.  
  
"Oh come now. He's done that for as long as I can remember." Lara said.  
  
"And why do you and daddy have those swords on your arms?" The girl asked again.  
  
"When Raziel and I had sex, the Reaver seperated in two and we both have one! Someday, you will Chasity!"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
Raziel walked in and he and Lara kissed.  
  
Awwww! how cute!"  
  
"Awwwww shaddup." They both said to the author.  
  
Well sor-reee!  
  
*The End*


End file.
